The August Blergh.

So, it's still summer.

It's still hot as balls.

I'm still going to talk about refreshing summer beers.

But first, a little bit about the professional life:

There's been a lot of moving and shaking going on. Managers quit/fired. Good employees quit, and steal or file lawsuits in their wake. More and more gets piled on this bear's plate. Mo money? Seriously? You must think that you earn what you make. No, no pay raises, more bullshit. Get threatened by another manager (both professionally and physically), get told "oh, he's just a weird guy."

Needless to say, things are getting restless. And disgruntled.

The latest round of bullshit comes just this weekend. The manager at one of our stores quits after hearing that in spite of his paltry performance, substandard attendance/punctuality, perpetual intoxication, and utter obliviance to customer demands, he was not entitled to a bonus. Huh.
Friday, he apparently told his boss that he didn't want to be scheduled anymore, which wouldn't be a problem if the new schedule, which started on Sunday, was not already made. With him on it. Every day.

Soooo, as I'm out of town, on a river, losing my glasses, drinking a weird cocktail of liquor and wine called "Freedom Punch" similar to jungle juice, getting an amazing tan (ok, terrible, terrible sunburn, who am I kidding), I find out about this. Way to have a worry free vacation. At least I got a sweet tan.

So, I come back, knowing that I have a wonderful week ahead of me.

Oh boy. I had no idea.

Mounds of paperwork. One day a week employees telling me what we should and shouldn't carry/keep in the cooler. Backstock. Good god, the backstock.

The thing that has been the most infuriating is the one day a week employee who thinks that she can manage a store without being there more than a day a week. I mean, she knows what sells, right? I mean, you only have to look at what's there, even though things get stocked several times a day and get delivered to the store 3 times between her shifts, one night a week, right? Ought to work?

IS IT TOO LATE TO GO BACK TO PARTY COVE??????????

I mean, I'm pretty sure I could deal with thousands of assholes telling me that their "old lady is a bitch" and some dumb white trash chick telling me between puffs of cigarettes that "YOU CAN'T DO SHIT TO ME, IM PREGNANT" a lot easier than I can this shit.

But, the important thing- the great communicator- the beer.

Great Divide Dunkel Weiss.

Easy enough, a dark wheat.

But it tastes like fucking cantaloupe. Doesn't seem right. At first, it's off putting, not really bad, but definitely weird.

A DIRTY FUCKING CANTALOUPE.

What the hell guys? I look for something simple, and you've got to have to go and put some funky fruit flavor up front and make people taste things. Jesus christ. Way to make a way over done style INTERESTING.

But seriously. Very tasty. Refreshing. Not heavy. Fruity, dark wheat beer. Juicy mouthfeel. Nom nom et al.

Also (and I know I'm phoning this in) Lindeman's Faro

The best thing about this beer is the mouthfeel. It's seriously like cotton candy. It's big and sweet, then it just disintegrates. It's awesome. I know that doesn't sound awesome, but it is. The flavor is nice and sour/tart, but balanced by belgian candi sugar. That, combined with the mouthfeel adds up to a lambic that could be consumed in excess. However, at 6 bucks for a 330ml bottle, you should probably be taking shots of grain alcohol between bottles so that you don't spend 50 bucks and feel like "GOD DAMNIT I DIDN'T EVEN CATCH A BUZZ BRAH" (sorry, that's me just wringing the last of the river water out of my socks).

Oktoberfests are coming. I'll have a comprehensive review before labor day, since brewers and distributors don't seem to understand that OKTOBERFEST does not happen in August. Let me just say this: My predictions are that the Kaiser is still awesome, Sam Adams will continiue it's decline, there will be a glut of sub par attempts at the style from both America and Germany, and there will be one American brewery that takes the style in a whole new direction. NOT Leinenkugel.

Expect Reviews of Sam's, BLVD, Hoffbrau, Spaten, Paulaner, and more.

Auf Wiedersehen Sommer!